Caribbeans would be awesome fisherman if not for that damn alcohol
Ok, there were a lot to choose from for Malibu Rum, but this pretty much sums them up. It's kind of hard to tell what their message is from the commercial. Is the Caribbean made up of trained navy men disguised as fisherman? Is the only thing stopping the Caribbean from monopolizing the fishing industry an uncontrollable alcoholic problem? How serious do they think the rest of the world is? IS THAT SUIT THE SIZE OF AN ACTUAL CARIBBEAN FISH?!?
Wizard kids like dueling and have no regard for human life
Couple pals in a basement enjoyng each other's company. Nothing weird about that....wait. What are they doing? Did that one kid just turn the other kid's shoelace into candy by speaking?! How is that possible?! Do these kids have some kind of magical God powers? That's interesting. I wonder if there's a back story to this commercial. Hmm...they seem to be dueling. I wonder what they are dueling over? Did they have a schism? Maybe they're fighting over a girl; the kid on the left has fire in his eyes. Actually, I take that back. Both of their eyes seem dead. They sure are taking this in stride. Right-side-kid just got his fingers turned into Fruit by the Foot and he didn't even bat an eyeliOH MY GOD HE JUST KILLED THAT KID!! HE JUST STRAIGHT UP TURNED THAT KID ENTIRELY INTO CANDY!!! IS THAT ALLOWED??!! DOES THIS DUEL HAVE ANY RULES?? Ref? What's going to happen now? Is he going to eat him?? Eeeewww... Where are these kids' parents?!?!
Busy messin with Sasquatch
I think you already know where I'm going with this one. Got a problem? A parking ticket? Springs in your bed popped? Aliens/Meteor threatening to destroy the planet? No problem! Just turn it all into Fruit by the Foot and eat it! "How do I get this wonderful power" you say? Just eat some Fruit by the Foot! Then turn some stuff into candy and eat it, thereby gaining more power! Vicious cycle? More like delicious cycle. The only way this could be a bad thing is if you go mad with power or just hate the taste of Fruit by the Foot. The former isn't a con and the latter is impossible so I SEE NOTHING!!
Sprite is made from the remains of others
Why is it that every Coca-Cola commercial looks like the hallucination of somebody on some bad drugs? Oh that's right. Maybe it's because of all the cocaine they used to dump in it. Obviously somebody was tripping balls sometime during the making of this commercial.