Don't Ask the Cactus

click to enlarge:

Trix are for...?

click to enlarge:

Yogurt

click to enlarge:

Yay, webcomics!!

SURPRISE!! I've decided to post all my random unfunny jokes on here...in the form of a webcomic!! Now I know my art is terrible and the jokes aren't funny, but these are just the experimental stages, so bear with me and hopefully it'll get better. If you can't read it, click on it to enlarge. So here's my first one:

Dreams

When you really stop to think about it, going comatose for several hours and having wild halucinations doesn't seem like it would be too appealing (for those of you who don't go to xkcd.com). Despite this, sleeping and all affiliated actions are in the top 10 of my favorite things to do. Dreaming in particular is why I look forward to going to bed at night. You could end up anywhere doing anything, completely random. At least for me. If anyone knows how to control what you dream, please tell me. Anyway, most of my dreams have me around lots of people partying or something like that in these cool places like arcades, big parks, Hogwarts (don't judge me), etc. My favorite places even come up in my dreams multiple times, like an after party dream. I hope I don't jinx myself, but I've never had a bad dream in my life. Even this one dream I had where I was in this vampire/house of the dead house turned out to be more of an escape adventure than a nightmare. Maybe it's just my optimistic side coming out. Dreams are a kind of double-edged sword, though. On the one side you get infinite amazingness, but then you get to wake up to a comparatively average and uncelebrated life. It makes me a little sad sometimes that my life can't be more exciting like in my dreams. But I wonder: if life was more like a dream, what would our dreams be like then?

Coming Soon

I am seriously falling behind. Not that this is a competition or anything, but if it was, I would be in the back. Oh wait. It is a competition (Brian) and I'm winning. Nevertheless, I'm going to be blogging it up nonstop in a couple of days. Plus, I have another surprise (hint: better than the pirate talk)

So, 'tis a story ye be wantin'?

Arrgh, it be in me best interest t' spin a yarn o'er me recent days. Me vessel be in the clutches of the navy's port, me search for the Treasures o' the Fifty States is at an end, and the day of the ressurection is at hand. Aye, me peg legs be gettin' a waxing an' no scallywags be courtin' my wenches.

Translation:
Here's whats been happening with me over the past few days. The police found my car, I finally finished collecting all fifty state quarters, and Easter is around the corner. I'm relaxing; life is good.

Dude, where's my car? (Still not the pirate post)

You know how weird it feels to have something taken away right under your nose without you noticing until later? Well imagine my surprise this morning when I awaken to find that my car was not where it was supposed to be. As in stolen. This isn't the first time it's happened, either. The police found the last one that was stolen, but this time no luck. At least not yet. They did find something that was in the car though. Apparently the person(s) who took it threw a bag of mine out of the car into somebody's yard a couple of streets down. They kept my pretzels, though...

This is not the pirate post.

As some of you may or may not have noticed, I have a new gadget section called "What Dat Smell Like?", where I give a random item depending on my mood. It seems to be acting up and won't always show what dat smell like. so if you can't see it, just take you mouse and highlight under the gadget title where you think my word should be. It's kinda like a scavenger hunt! How lovely.

Haha Noteriety!! et. al.

Over the past couple of days, it seems that I've acquired some new followers; people that I don't actually know. And as weird as "random people following you" sounds, it's a blog so I'm taking it as a good thing. Also, who can tell me how to change my background to something other than what it is?

P.S. My next post will be in pirate-speak, so be prepaaared. (See what I did there?)

Spring is here!

I had forgotten how nice Springtime was over this past long winter, until I walked outside this morning. Everything was so bright and colorful and the sun was shining and it made me happy. It also brought to mind the song "Mr. Blue Sky" by the Electric Light Orchestra. They're kind of like the Beatles and it's a really good song. Anyway, I'm in a good mood and I'm thinking its going to start looking nicer outside soon.

Slumdog Millionaire

Picture this. You are in a hospital at the deathbed of your long lost childhood friend that has been coming in and out of your life in a Forrest Gump sort of way. You take his/her hand and reassure that everything is going to be alright, although you both know the inevitable. Then you both admit your love for each other, kiss, and then he/she dies. All of a sudden--- Pirates!! *Pirates of the Carribean theme music starts playing while you start fighting pirates*

See what happened there? Did I ruin the mood? Well that's pretty much what happens in Slumdog Millionaire. Sure, I changed the plot a little (read as: completely), but there's a similar sharp left turn in the movie that makes you wish you had stopped watching a couple of minutes before. I won't spoil the plot, but this event occurs near the end of the movie, pretty much the climax. Some stuff goes down and the movie ends with a big "Awwww" love moment. Then the producer goes, "Hey guys. You know what would go great right here? A dance party!!"
Yep. They start dancing. And not the You Got Served kind of dancing. I'm talking about the YMCA mixed with thriller kind of dancing. I'm talking about the kind of dancing that your parents would say used to be cool when they were your age kind of dancing. Do you have any idea what that did to the movie for me? I was devastated. Then the credits started rolling. At least the music wasn't bad...

Cleri-who?

First things first: my rain dance worked. No rain=Big Day Off= Awesome sauce. I'm not one to brag, but I'm pretty proud of myself. Also, Rachel taught me a new game: wiki racing. You start on a random Wikipedia page and race somebody to get to another page by only clicking on links in the articles.

Anyway, for English class this weekend we're supposed to write four clerihews, and I'm having a little trouble. For those of you who don't know, a clerihew is a 4-lined poem with an AA BB rhyme structure. The first line is always a proper noun and its supposed to be a witty/funny sort of poem. Here's a couple of examples we got during class:

Vince Young

Your Fu is not yet Kung

Your hop ain't hip, your juke don't jive

I'm going to eat your rookie ass alive.

Or this one:

N*Sync

Stink.

Their music hurts my ears

I much prefer Britney Spears.

At least I think that's how they go. It seems like it would be really easy, but so far I have only come up with one decent one :

Funnel Cake
Angels make.
Most delicious snack
Sugar-coated heart attack.

So...yeah. I'm sure I'll come up with something else, I just thought I'd share. Oh by the way, I've challenged Brian's blog to a blog war. We don't know exactly what that entails so if anyone has any ideas feel free to comment. I'm done.

Big Day Off

Yay, another post! So, it's Big Day Off tomorrow, and I'm hoping it doesn't rain like last year or else it'll suck. To lower the chances of rain, I've decided to put up an anti-rain dance:

Sure it's raining in the picture, and you assume that means the dance didn't work? Oh no, my friend. It's raining in the picture instead of raining in real life tomorrow. That's why the mouse is holding the umbrella. It's a repellent. The fact that it's a mouse doing the dance has no purpose.

This brought to mind the "themes" for Big Day Off. What did they actually mean? I know the Why So Serious? thing from Batman is supposed to be like "Oh yeah, we're not going to be serious cuz we're gonna have fun!" But aside from that, there aren't going to be any Batman shaped ice-cream cones or Joker themed slides or anything, so what's the point? Last year the theme didn't make any sense at all: The Coke Side of Life. What does that mean? We certainly didn't have any soda slides or taste testing there that year, and unless the people who thought up that idea were drug addicts, I don't see how anyone can relate coke to endless fun.

Pictured Here: Fun?

I'm probably just thinking too hard about it. We'll see what happens...