Saturday, August 21, 2010
Friday, September 4, 2009
Caribbeans would be awesome fisherman if not for that damn alcohol
Ok, there were a lot to choose from for Malibu Rum, but this pretty much sums them up. It's kind of hard to tell what their message is from the commercial. Is the Caribbean made up of trained navy men disguised as fisherman? Is the only thing stopping the Caribbean from monopolizing the fishing industry an uncontrollable alcoholic problem? How serious do they think the rest of the world is? IS THAT SUIT THE SIZE OF AN ACTUAL CARIBBEAN FISH?!?
Wizard kids like dueling and have no regard for human life
Couple pals in a basement enjoyng each other's company. Nothing weird about that....wait. What are they doing? Did that one kid just turn the other kid's shoelace into candy by speaking?! How is that possible?! Do these kids have some kind of magical God powers? That's interesting. I wonder if there's a back story to this commercial. Hmm...they seem to be dueling. I wonder what they are dueling over? Did they have a schism? Maybe they're fighting over a girl; the kid on the left has fire in his eyes. Actually, I take that back. Both of their eyes seem dead. They sure are taking this in stride. Right-side-kid just got his fingers turned into Fruit by the Foot and he didn't even bat an eyeliOH MY GOD HE JUST KILLED THAT KID!! HE JUST STRAIGHT UP TURNED THAT KID ENTIRELY INTO CANDY!!! IS THAT ALLOWED??!! DOES THIS DUEL HAVE ANY RULES?? Ref? What's going to happen now? Is he going to eat him?? Eeeewww... Where are these kids' parents?!?!
Busy messin with Sasquatch
I think you already know where I'm going with this one. Got a problem? A parking ticket? Springs in your bed popped? Aliens/Meteor threatening to destroy the planet? No problem! Just turn it all into Fruit by the Foot and eat it! "How do I get this wonderful power" you say? Just eat some Fruit by the Foot! Then turn some stuff into candy and eat it, thereby gaining more power! Vicious cycle? More like delicious cycle. The only way this could be a bad thing is if you go mad with power or just hate the taste of Fruit by the Foot. The former isn't a con and the latter is impossible so I SEE NOTHING!!
Sprite is made from the remains of others
Why is it that every Coca-Cola commercial looks like the hallucination of somebody on some bad drugs? Oh that's right. Maybe it's because of all the cocaine they used to dump in it. Obviously somebody was tripping balls sometime during the making of this commercial.
Sunday, August 2, 2009
Saturday, August 1, 2009
Thursday, July 30, 2009
Using only song names from ONE ARTIST, cleverly answer these questions. Try not to repeat a song title. It's harder than you think.
Your Artist: The Seatbelts
Are you male or female: The Real Man
Describe yourself: Spy
How do you feel about yourself: Forever Broke
Describe where you currently live: What Planet is This?!
The first thing you think of when you wake up: Rush
If you could go anywhere, where would you go: Road to the West
Your favorite form of transportation: Flying Teapot
Your best friend is: Diggin My Potato
What's the weather like: Clutch
If your life were a TV show, what would it be called: Go Go Cactus Man
What is life to you: 24hours OPEN
What is the best advice you have to give: Gotta Knock a Little Harder
If you could change your name, what would it be: Words That We Couldn't Say
Your favorite food is: Chicken Bone
How I would like to die: Vitamin A
My soul's present condition: Gateway
The faults I can bear: The EGG and YOU
How would you describe your love life: Want It All Back
What are you going to post this as: You Make Me Cool
Afterthoughts: Farewell Blues
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
Recently I've been spending a lot of time in the a bookstore near my house. I came across this book a few times and decided to take a look inside. It's called "This Book Will Change Your Life" and true to it's name, it will. The basic idea is that the book gives you something interesting to try out to spice up the day or look at things from a different perspective. Each page is another day of the year and the entire book is to be finished in a year. Some of the ideas are pretty good, like for instance introducing yourself to a stranger and asking them their first impression, or a day where you don't say anything at all in recognition of how much meaningless chatting our lives are filled with. But other ideas are some I wouldn't recommend, like doing a self-colonoscopy or eating a small piece of your furniture. For those of you who are wondering, the self-colonoscopy involves taking a shower head off, putting the tubing in your butt, running warm water through your digestive tract, and then draining out all the waste. It's something you generally do at a hospital but the book insists that this saves time and money. Besides some of the more wacky things (trying to levitate objects, the are-you-a-seial-killer test) this book is a really good idea. I recommend it, especially for people who find themselves in the same endless loop year after year. Check it out.